Being in a relationship has taught me so much. I haven’t mastered every lesson there is, and I’m nowhere near being the perfect boyfriend/finance; but I’ve definitely learned enough to speak on it. One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn is: you and her are not and may never be similar, and that’s okay. A relationship is dependent on two people being able to trust that the other will accept them for who they are. As much as we dream about the “perfect” woman, the reality is that you need to see your partner as that perfect woman. Flaws and all. When you take into consideration that your partner has different experiences, thoughts, and upbringing; you should naturally expect her to be different. Her views on the world, philosophy, and ideologies may all be different from what you expect and that’s exactly why you need to value her. As you continue to rise, you need someone to challenge you. You need someone to tell you, “you can do better”, “that’s not right”, or “maybe you could do this a little differently”. Hearing it now maybe hard to hear, but applying it now can only better you.
When it comes to building relationships, the most important thing is the person. Leave your ulterior motives at the door. People are generally good at figuring out if you’re genuine or not, and once they realize you’re all about the business then your relationship (if there is one) will be strictly business. People don’t desire to talk to people that only want to help themselves, but sometimes they just want to talk. Drop the script, and just talk.
Everyone of us has heard at one point or another to “watch who you surround yourself with”. However, if you’re like myself, you never really paid much attention to it because the people you were with were cool people, and knew how to have a good time. So why not surround yourself with them right? Surrounding yourself with people who want to better you isn’t only beneficial, but crucial to your success. While the quality of people you choose is certainly important, the type of people you choose is equally important. Rarely, will you find an “all-in-one bestie” that can do it and be it all whenever you need them to be. Nobody is perfect. Always be mindful of that. So who are the “necessaries” who should be in your entourage? Let me walk you through it.
Loyal Best Friend
The loyal best friend is the one who allows you to really be yourself. You don’t have to hide anything, you can open up to them, they’re non-judgmental and they’re usually the ones that are still there when everyone leaves. If you have more than 2 of these you’re blessed.
The Fearless Adventurer
This person pulls you out of your comfort zone on the regular. As future leaders, we have to learn quickly that the solutions to all of our problems are usually outside of what we know or are accustomed to. I personally think that a lot of people lack someone like this; find them quick!
The Brutally Honest Friend
Not too many have someone like this in their life because the culture today tells us that, if someone goes against you and tells you that you’re “wrong” or “no”, they are a hater by definition. The problem with this is that a lot of times we NEED that. The person that is willing to tell you no or push you in another direction in order to see your succeed is priceless.
This is one of the most crucial aspects of your circle. In order to learn, you have to do one of two things: learn the hard way, or learn from others that learned the hard way. Having someone that passionate about seeing your plans come into fruition is must. If you don’t already have a mentor, get one. You will never regret it.
Always have someone that will challenge you to do your best. If you’re working to be something or working on something, a true friend wouldn’t distract you rather than helping you. You might not like it at first, and it may annoy you at times but results are results. You’ll be thanking them for all of it later.
The informant keeps you aware of everything going on. The most important tip I can give about them is to have MANY of them. You need at least one or two for every aspect of your life. They are your information sources; never neglect these people!!
The Role Model
Ahhhh.. the role model.The role model is the person you look up to. No matter what you want to do, or what you want to accomplish there is a someone who has done it before, find that person, and learn from them. Be mindful of who you follow, and how far you want to follow.. All that glitters isn’t gold..
It wise to keep your circle tight, but make sure it is big enough to fit these people into it. The problem usually is not in the quantity it’s in the quality. Do you have all of these people in your circle? If not, I would highly suggest you do so. Keep adjusting your circle until you are well rounded!
Being the “thinking soul” that I am, I love to create and innovate all the time and I’ve found that making lists is the perfect way of making sure that I keep track with all of those ideas. You can literally make a list for just about anything, but I want to make a list (see what I did there) of things that I think you need to really need to make sure you get down as soon as possible. Make sure you get an app like Evernote or your standard note taking app or even a regular notebook and starting listing now.
Products/Idea that you want to build eventually
What’s that idea you’ve dreaming about?
Talent to keep my eyes on
Who’s caught your eye lately? Who’s someone you could see yourself working with?
Things to Learn
What’s something you’re interested in learning?
Books to Read
List some books that you’re interested in reading.
Future Business Ideas
What’s that business idea that you keep daydreaming about?
Pending Conversation Agendas
Do you have any important talks or meetings coming up? Create an agenda to be prepared
Short-Term Product Tasks
Once you decide to start working on an idea, what are some things you can do now to improve it?
Long-Term CEO Projects
What are some long term projects that will help move your business forward in the long run?
Short-Term CEO Projects
What are short term projects that will help move your business forward in the long run?
People to “Update”
Who are the people I need to keep in the loop?
Doesn’t necessarily have to be CEOs. But who are the people tyou knowing performing at the highest level in their given industry?
Who are people that you want to work with eventually?
Who are the people that you’re working with now?
Are there any other lists that I’m missing? Comment and share your list ideas below.
I took the time this week to re-read a classic by David Deida and really thought I should share it. If you haven’t heard of or read this book then you should really consider doing it. The author addresses a good amount of topics, but pretty much focuses on a man and his personal life & his relationships. I took some of the most important points (to me) out of the book and listed them here, however, I would really encourage to take a look at it if you can.
When discussing something with your girlfriend/wife stay firm in what you what you believe
Don’t change your mind based on your girlfriend/spouse. Take what she says into account and make a decision based off of that, but don’t let her make all of the decisions. The consequences of those decisions will be on you regardless of what you choose in the long-run. Women desire someone that can make decisions.
Women are attracted to a man that walks in his purpose. Don’t sacrifice working on your purpose for your girlfriend/spouse or you will lose the one thing that made her attractive to you in the first place.
Never forget your bros
Have a talk with some of your guys once in a while (the book says once a week) about what you’re doing in your life and what you want to, but are afraid of doing.
What do women want?
You girlfriend/spouse doesn’t want to think that you NEED her. You should be able to handle yourself. No matter how much she test you, no matter how much she scares you, or no matter how much she tries to move you. If she tests you and you fail, she will consider you to be weak, which leads to her trusting you less.
Why doesn’t she ever know what she wants to eat?
A girl is rarely ever talking about the topic at hand. She’s just addressing her current feelings. If she doesn’t know what she wants, she really doesn’t know. She just knows what she feels at that actual moment, which could change the very next second.
Focus on the Love
One thing people tend to do in a relationship is tolerate someone. Tolerating someone always leads to resentment. Just continue to love one another and and she will open up back up to you.
You always start at Zero
Don’t think your excellent track record will work when she’s upset. What matters now, is the situation at hand. Just restore love and happiness into the situation.
Focus on the Love Pt. 2
Hang this one up on your wall or something: Whenever she is in a bad mood, just make the assumption she is not loved.
It’s all on you bro
A girl’s greatest desire in a relationship to feel as though she always being led. She wants you to be able to do it without her asking or having to figure it out. Anytime you talk to her and expect her to analyze her mood and situation to the point of being able to fix it, you’re talking to her like one of the guys. She can do it, but if she’s upset it’s probably not the best way to go about fixing it.
Which one of these do you think you could see yourself putting into practice first? Let me know in the comments below.
Leadership is one of the vaguest terms out there in the world today. The simple definition of leadership is constantly being debated everyday. While I don’t have a definition of what it is, I think John Maxwell might. Maxwell wrote the book “The 5 Levels of Leadership” which is now considered a classic in the business world. Instead of defining it as one solid thing, he divides it into levels and gives his definition that way. There so much information in this one book, but I gave 5 points out of each level that stuck out the most to me. Hopefully, you get something beneficial out it.
Level One: Position – Because They Have To
- Your leadership will have to be earned not everyone will respect you coming in
- Don’t depend on your position to be influential
- Live out your values
- Forget your title and position and just focus on your potential
- Understand that leaderships develops daily, not in one day
Level Two: Permission – Because They Want To
- The shift here shifts from “me” to “we”
- Focus on the value of everyone on your team
- Become the CEO. Chief Encouragement Officer.
- Continue to develop your trust with the people that follow you
- Give your people your undivided attention
Level Three: Production – Because of What You Have Done
- Production is essential. No one wants to leave a team that’s winning
- Be willing to be a change agent
- Invest in people that work in the company
- Results matter
- Production won’t always be enough to get you to the next level. But developing other leaders will
Level Four: People Development – Because of What You Have Done For Them
- In order to expand your potential, train leaders
- The highest goal of a leadership culture is to define it, teach it, practice it, coach it, and reward
- Empower your people
- Understand that allowing your people to do the work themselves gives you time to more on the business instead of in it
- Don’t forget to continue to grow yourself
Level Five: Pinnacle – Because of Who You Are
- Develop the desire to see others succeed
- Never stop growing. Never think you’ve arrived.
- Make room for others at the top
- Understand the power of impact. It will take a level 3 leader to develop a level 4 leader.
- Leave a positive legacy.
What level of leadership do you consider yourself to be on? What kind of action steps are you going to take to get to the next level? Leave a comment below and discuss.